Should We Break Up? Quiz

Ten questions, no right answers to perform — just answer honestly and see where things stand.

Question 1 of 10

Your result is private and won't be shared.

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The Research Behind This Quiz

Whether you started here after searching "should I break up with my girlfriend" or "should I break up with my boyfriend" — or you arrived some other way — this quiz isn't built on guesswork or gut feeling. It draws on decades of research by psychologist John Gottman, who followed couples over time and tracked which conflict patterns actually predicted whether a relationship would end.

Four patterns in particular stood out: criticism (attacking character instead of addressing a specific behavior), contempt (sarcasm, mockery, or disdain), defensiveness (deflecting instead of hearing the complaint), and stonewalling (shutting down or withdrawing from hard conversations). On their own, none of these are unusual — most couples slip into one occasionally. What matters more is whether they're recurring, and whether they're met with genuine repair attempts: the small ways people reach back out after conflict, and whether those attempts land.

This quiz asks about those specific patterns, plus a few related questions — how a disagreement changed (or didn't) over the past year, whether the same topic keeps resurfacing unresolved, and whether real fondness is still present underneath the conflict. It's a structured way of noticing patterns that are often hard to see clearly from inside a relationship.

What This Quiz Doesn't Do

This isn't a diagnostic tool, and it isn't a test you pass or fail. It can't account for everything specific to your relationship, and it isn't a substitute for talking to a therapist — individual or couples — if you want a clearer picture than ten questions can give.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is there a real quiz to tell me if I should break up with my girlfriend or boyfriend?

Not in the sense of a definitive yes-or-no answer — no quiz can make that decision for you. What this one can do is check your relationship against patterns research has actually linked to relationships ending, so you're working from something more concrete than anxiety or a bad week.

How accurate is a quiz like this?

It's based on real, well-studied patterns, but it's still a self-report tool — it only knows what you tell it, and it can't see the full context of your relationship the way a therapist or an honest conversation with your partner can.

What if my result doesn't feel right?

That's worth paying attention to. The result is a reflection of your answers, not an outside verdict — if it doesn't match your gut, that gap is often meaningful on its own.

Can I retake it later?

Yes. Relationships change, and a result from a hard week isn't necessarily a result from six months from now.

Is this confidential?

Yes. Your answers and result aren't saved or shared anywhere.

Sources

Research referenced in this quiz:

  1. John Gottman — research on conflict patterns, repair attempts, and predictors of relationship stability and dissolution (The Gottman Institute, University of Washington).